Untamed Read online

  “Quiet,” I said. “I liked all of it.”

  “So I guess we play cards?”

  “I’ll warn you, my Go Fish game is legendary.”

  “Yeah, you’re a real card shark. Tom taught me how to play gin rummy. At the church.”

  “They let you have cards?”

  “I figure they thought it was hard to murder someone with paper cuts.” He smiled at me, easy and loose in the memory and I hadn’t seen him easy and loose in a memory for a long time. “Anyway, gin rummy, that’s my game.”

  “You’ll have to teach me,” I said. “I don’t know it.”

  A puzzled look crossed his face and he straightened, looking around. “I don’t think I have cards here.”

  That didn’t surprise me. I never saw him watch television. Or pick up a book.

  “What do you do for fun?” I asked him.

  “Fucking you is fun.”

  I laughed, the fizzy water I was drinking almost coming out my nose.

  “What did you do before I came along.” I realized the trap I’d walked into and held up my hand. “I don’t mean other women. I don’t mean to pry.”

  “There were no other women, lass. No one who mattered. And no one for a long time.”

  “So?” I asked, unwilling to let this go. “What did you do for fun?”

  “You won’t laugh?”

  “Oh my god, is it…were you like a mime or something? A clown? Please, please tell me you were a clown.”

  “Fuck off, Poppy. I’m being serious.”

  I turned my face to stone. “I won’t laugh.”

  “I used to draw.”

  Like his mother.

  I took tiny sips of air so I wouldn’t cry.

  “It all stopped at St. Brigid’s, but when I was wee, I loved art. I had a teacher who entered a picture I’d drawn in some city contest and it got a red ribbon. I remember even my da was proud of me. Took me to the pub and showed me off.”

  He twirled his pasta and took a bite. We ate from the pan, sitting at the table. Each of us in our underwear. It was a scene in a rom-com movie and I was giddy with love. It felt like a dream. A bubble I would do anything to keep from popping.

  “Your mother would be proud of that,” I whispered.

  “It was a long time ago,” he said. But I saw the wheels turning in his head, the way he might be seeing himself in a different way.

  * * *

  Poppy

  There was a pounding on the door that snapped me awake and I registered the warmth of Ronan’s body leaving the bed. The hallway light flickered on and Ronan’s low voice rumbled. Raj answered. All before I managed to get myself out of the blankets.

  Ronan came back into the bedroom, naked and carrying a gun.

  “That shouldn’t be as hot as it is,” I said, watching him put his gun in the bedside table. “Who was at the door?”

  He held a creamy envelope out to me, the kind sealed with real wax. Extremely fancy. Old school.

  “What does it say?” I asked, staring at the envelope like it was a snake about to bite.

  “I didn’t read it.”

  I took the thick paper and slipped out a note written in a heavy script.

  “It’s an invitation,” I said. “To have drinks with Leo Morelli.”

  “Me?”

  “Both of us.”

  I wore a red dress with only one shoulder strap. It was tight and sexy and it showed off the scar on my arm in a way that I thought said “I’ve seen some shit so don’t fuck with me.”

  Ronan was mad at me, but he could not keep his hand off my shoulder, his thumb stroked over the healing edges of the scar sending shivers across my neck.

  “You like my dress,” I said, curled up against him in the back of the car. Raj was driving. The invitation told us not to come armed and to only come with a driver.

  Both of those rules did not make Ronan happy.

  “I’d like it better at home.”

  “You look nice,” I said, running my hand down the crisp white of his shirt. He wore a dark suit that made him look lean and deadly. Sexy. We looked sexy together. A sexy dangerous couple having a drink with another sexy dangerous couple.

  No big deal. Nothing to see here, folks.

  My heart was going like mad, though.

  “I don’t like this, Poppy.”

  “You’ve said that a million times. But marriage made us safe, remember?”

  “Morelli’s aren’t known to kill other Morelli’s, but anything could happen.”

  “Why would he want to hurt me?”

  “Because I shot him not too long ago. The war between him and Caroline.”

  I turned on him, mouth agape. “You’re just telling me this now?”

  He shrugged, silent. The arm behind my head an iron bar of tension.

  I no longer felt like part of a sexy dangerous couple, meeting a sexy dangerous couple for drinks. I felt like a rabbit putting its head in a trap.

  * * *

  Ronan

  There was an ornate and imposing door. It swung open before we knock, revealing an older gentleman in a suit. A butler? A security guard? Probably both. Leo Morelli would need that.

  With a low murmur, he led us deep into the castle.

  A large library with white shelves that reached to the ceiling. Plush chairs formed reading nooks around the parquet floor. Windows overlooked a forest. It would have been a welcoming room if not for the occasion. Leo stood beside a tall armchair, where Haley sat.

  The last time I saw her she’d been fighting for Leo’s life. Right before I put a bullet in his chest. I shook off the memory, but the deep tension in my gut went nowhere. I was unarmed and Poppy was wearing that fucking dress and I’d never been more scared.

  “Poppy,” I wanted to stop her. To try and keep her here, so whatever revenge scheme Leo had planned it would just involve me. And that I could spare her what I’d been unable to spare Haley—watching her lover get shot.

  “It will be all right,” the butler / security guard murmured.

  It wasn’t in me to trust this person. To trust this house. To trust anyone, outside of Poppy. But I didn’t have a choice. Poppy and I crossed the library.

  “Ronan,” Leo said.

  “Listen, if this is some kind of revenge, let Poppy go—”

  “It’s not,” he said.

  “I put a bullet in you.”

  “But you didn’t kill me.” Leo smiled at me, a dangerous man. “And I think you could have, if you wanted to. Caroline gave you orders to kill me.”

  “You’re letting this go on a technicality?” I asked.

  Haley narrowed her eyes. “I’m not letting anything go. If it were up to me, you could rot in hell for shooting Leo. But he has a soft spot for family.”

  Family. That was what the couple in front of me could have been, in another world. There was a sense of loss in my chest. Loss for something I’ve never had. “If it means anything, I’m sorry.”

  Leo put a hand on Haley’s shoulder, as if to reassure her.

  “Come on,” he said. “Let’s have a drink.” I followed him across the room to a small drinks cart. “Irish whiskey?” he asked, lifting a decanter. I nodded and he walked back over to me with two fingers in a crystal glass. I glanced back to see Poppy saying something to Haley. At least Haley doesn’t look ready to pounce on her.

  “I just did this same thing with your father,” I said, gesturing toward the drinks.

  “He offered you a job.”

  “I wouldn’t call it offered.”

  The corner of his lip rose in answer. He seemed…lighter than he had before. Back in the days of his war with Caroline. When he was hungry for revenge. I looked over at the women. Haley pointed at something on a shelf. Poppy looked awestruck. Bonding over a library. Two sources of light in a dark room.

  “You’re not going to take it?” he asked.

  I bit back the answer, unwilling to give him anything to use against me.

  “Why
am I here, Leo? If you’re not going to get revenge?” I asked. “For shooting you. For putting Haley through everything?”

  Leo shook his head and sat down in front of an empty fireplace. He was careful sitting back. I wondered if he still felt pain from the gunshot wound all these months later. “Sit,” Leo said. “I swear you’re safe.”

  I sat, sipping my whiskey which was excellent and waited for Leo to get to the point.

  “I should probably beat the shit out of you. Not so much for shooting me, but Haley had nightmares.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said. And I was. That life… those things I did. The comfort I gave myself by believing in monsters and then putting them down. It didn’t hold up in this room. With the pretty women talking about books and Leo Morelli having a drink with me.

  Leo waved his hand, washing away the past, just like that.

  I could feel Poppy’s attention from across the room.

  “I wouldn’t wish being a Morelli bastard on anyone, but there are upsides.”

  “I don’t need your fucking money.”

  “I’m not giving you a dime. I’m offering you a job. A place.”

  “What?”

  “You think you’re the first person to be in this situation? A Morelli in blood, but not name? Alone in the world?”

  “Yes.” Because I had felt alone for so long.

  “You’re not. And we take care of our own.”

  “You mean you take care of them.” I’d heard the rumors about Leo taking care of Bryant’s bastards, but I never thought I’d be one of them.

  “You won’t be working for my father or even for Lucian. I have my own business. My own interests. I have my own things I need done.” His eyes flickered over to Haley and Poppy who were picking books out of shelves. “The Morelli family name can be a curse. But you can make it worth something.”

  “I’ve been a Morelli for ten minutes. I’m not that invested.”

  “You’ve been a Morelli your whole life. And you can run from it.”

  I smirked into my glass of whiskey.

  “Or you can fight it. I don’t recommend that option. The world isn’t a safe place for people on their own. I think you learned that the hard way. But you can find a place here. A place where you belong.”

  “By working with you?”

  “Get to know your family.”

  I sucked in a breath and finished my whiskey. “That’s never really worked out for me,” I said. “Family.”

  “No?” Leo asked, his eyes across the room on the girls. “Though, I suppose I understand.”

  Haley reached up for a book, revealing a bump beneath her dress. Was she pregnant?

  I’d forgotten…or if not forgotten, pushed it to the back of my mind, where it had attached itself to all sorts of feelings. And not all of them were fear.

  Poppy might have been pregnant, too.

  “What’s the job?” I asked. “Security?” I did security for Caroline. Bryant wanted me to do security for him, too. I knew what that job entailed. It might look like guns hidden in suits to most people, but the darker side had eaten my soul. Fixing. Murder.

  Leo shook his head. “I work in real estate. You’ve done enough destruction. Try building something.” He quirked his lips. “It’s actually satisfying.”

  Building something. That does sound satisfying.

  He stood and poured us another drink. “It will give you a chance to meet your cousins,” he said.

  “Cousins.” I said it like it was a foreign word.

  “Not all of us are bad.”

  “Haley is a Constantine,” I said. “How does that work?”

  A ghost of a smile. “It’s simple, actually. I don’t give a fuck about her parents. Or mine. We’re building a life together. That’s all that matters.”

  I got to my feet and made my way across the big room to Poppy, who greeted me with a smile. Her hand outstretched towards mine.

  She might be pregnant. This moment. The start of something brand new. Our family.

  I took her hand. A life line in an unexpected sea.

  * * *

  “That was nice,” Poppy said, her head against my shoulder in the back of the car. “Wasn’t it? Like not scary nice, but actually nice.”

  I didn’t answer her and she didn’t seem to need me to answer her.

  “I liked Haley. A lot.” It was good to see her happy. Smiling. Easy. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “She invited us to dinner next week. I said we’d have to see if we were free. Which, you know, is hilarious.”

  I didn’t laugh at all her charm and she stroked my arm.

  “What’s wrong?” she asked.

  “He offered me a job.”

  “Do you want a job?”

  “No. And I don’t need one.” I had money saved up over the years. Accounts in Ireland that were doubling every year thanks to Niamh. I looked out the window at the dark sky. There were stars out here in Bishop’s Landing. Lots of them tonight.

  “He kept talking about family. About… how I could run from being Morelli. I could fight it or I could make something out of it.”

  She made a sound in her throat, her body pressed to mine. “I have cousins,” I said. Apropos of nothing. “I’ve never had those before. I’ve never had…any of this before.” I looked at her, her sunny face. “You only had one glass of champagne.”

  “Noticed that, did you?”

  I didn’t have the bravery to ask. Maybe I didn’t want to know. I wasn’t sure, but we left it there. In the quiet between us.

  “Caroline’s kids were like cousins to me and Zilla.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Truthfully, it was nice. I miss how nice it was. I always wanted a big family. Big holidays. Lots of noise. Lots of kids.”

  Of course she did and I’d never thought about it. Not once. But in this moment I could see the appeal.

  We were passing her old house. It was dark, none of the external lights on.

  “Can we stop?” She asked.

  “Why?”

  “There’s something… I want to see if it’s still there.”

  “Raj,” I said. “Stop the car.”

  * * *

  Poppy

  I expected a burnt-out shell, broken windows and all my dresses strewn across the lawn. But it looked much the same as the night we left it. There was yellow caution tape across the front door and the windows were all dark. The lawn care service had even been by—there was one of those little signs at the edge of the lawn.

  “You all right?” Ronan asked.

  Parsing through all my feelings, I came up rather empty. “Yeah,” I said. “I feel…nothing for this house.” For the two years I’d lived terrified within its walls. “Nothing.”

  We got out of the car and Ronan snapped the tape in front of the door and we walked right in through the unlocked door. I turned on the lights to reveal absolute chaos. Cushions destroyed, paintings torn off the walls and ripped apart. Every drawer on the main floor had been emptied. The overhead light fixtures in the kitchen had been destroyed, leaving only bare bulbs to illuminate the minefield of cutlery on the floor.

  “It’s all ruined,” I said. This whole life. The person I’d been. It was a stranger’s house. A stranger’s life.

  I walked upstairs to my old bedroom. My dresses, thousands and thousands of dollars’ worth of them, destroyed. My underwear and toiletries thrown around the room like confetti.

  “Can you help me?” I asked, turning the light on in my closet. “I can’t reach—”

  He was beside me immediately.

  “The very back of the top shelf. It’s a small box…”

  He stood on his tiptoes and felt around.

  “I don’t think it’s there, lass,” he said and the hopes I didn’t want to have crashed to the ground.

  “Wait,” he said and managed to reach a nothing-special shoebox. But it was the most special thing I had. So special, my sister wouldn’t have known about it. So special to
protect myself I had to forget it even existed.

  He handed it to me and I walked back out to the bedroom to set it on the mattress that had been ripped apart.

  “I haven’t looked in here in a long time.” I took a deep breath, bracing myself for the memories and then lifted the lid.

  There was a pink and blue baby blanket that Zilla had been wrapped in when she came home from the hospital as a newborn. There was a book my mother had made for me when I was little. Crinkly pages of buttons and zippers so I could practice fine motor skills. A silver rattle that had been my father’s as an infant. Onesies with little elephants on them and striped footie pajamas I’d bought the first time I’d been pregnant. An ultrasound of a baby that didn’t survive.

  I put the lid on the box and faced him. I knew he could see my heart. How much I loved him. “Thank you.”

  His face was haunted. “Are you—” He gestured helplessly at my belly.

  “It’s too soon to tell,” I said. “But if I am… I wanted these things.”

  “Aye.” He nodded, solemn and serious.

  “You’ll be a good father, Ronan.”

  He turned his head away like I’d slapped him.

  “Our baby won’t care about what you used to do to survive. Our baby won’t care about the blood in your veins.”

  “Our baby will have the same blood,” he said, like it was a warning.

  “You’ll be a good father. You’ll make your mother proud.”

  His breath was shattered and I wrapped my arms around him.

  “Well, well,” a cold voice behind us said. “The Bulldog and his bride.”

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  Ronan

  In a heartbeat I had my gun in my hand and Poppy behind me, but I was too late. There were three men in the bedroom with us. All of them were armed, blocking the doorway. We were trapped. Caught.

  “We saw your lights on.” The man in the very back, stepped forward. “Hope you don’t mind.”

  Tiernan Morelli. Dark hair. Handsome. Smug.

  Evil.

  I’d been so caught up in Poppy, in the baby things and dreams that could never come true, I didn’t even hear them coming. Niamh was right. This was what having a weakness did to a man like me—it put everyone around me in danger.